Ep 66 Inner Wisdom

As we engage in deep listening, we discover the inner wisdom of the spirit. In this episode, we talk about the benefits of having companions to help us notice the deep well that lies within. When we begin to listen to our bodies, our intuitions, and the quickening of the Spirit, a world of empowerment opens to us. Join us as we explore the art of paying attention in contemplative ways.   

Additional Resources
Book: The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck 

#SpiritualCompanioning
#SpiritualDirection
#Discernment
#MindBodySpirituality

For Transcript:
Go to the "Transcript" Tab.
If you are in a player that does not have the Transcript Tab, use the link below:
https://thecontemplativelife.buzzsprout.com/1642654/10458675-ep-66-inner-wisdom

Transcript

 SUMMARY KEYWORDS

inner wisdom, quickening, paying attention, 

Dominic Kaiser  00:06

Welcome to The Contemplative Life: Three pastors, friends and spiritual companions help us explore spirituality through a contemplative lens.

I'm Christina Roberts.
I'm Chris Roberts.
I'm Kristina Kaiser.  We're glad you joined us. 

Christina Roberts  00:24

Hello, it is great to be with you. Today we are talking about the idea of inner wisdom. And it's this idea that as we engage in deep listening, we discover the inner wisdom of the Spirit. And I have to say that this is probably one of my favorite aspects of being a spiritual companion, a spiritual director for others, and also receiving spiritual guidance. As we're talking in the sessions and offering deep listening, it's amazing how each one of us has this inner wisdom that emerges, if given the chance to express ourselves. And you know, I think there's a beautiful verse in Proverbs 20, verse five, that says, “The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” And I just love that idea that our thoughts or insights are like these deep wells of water, and the opportunity that the contemplative practices have to help to draw out that inner wisdom in us. And so I'd love to open up the conversation today as we think about inner wisdom, what emerges for the two of you?

Kristina Kaiser  01:26

Yes, even as you open up the conversation, I am thinking about some classes I’m taking right now. And there's this thing that is often said, the teachers will say, I trust your discernment. They offer it to the whole group. It's not specifically to me, but it has made me realize how not often we say this to one another, how more often than not people offer you things to do, let me give you some advice. Let me tell you or teach you. And instead, to have somebody back way off and say I trust your discernment. This puts a lot of responsibility on you all of a sudden. Okay, what does it mean, then for me to look into that?  And so it requires this inward journey a little bit in order to embrace somebody else, allowing you to have discernment yourself. So I'm even just realizing this permission is so necessary to even first start to look inward to find that inner wisdom. 

Chris Roberts  02:31

Yeah, I really appreciate what both of you guys have said, I really love the image of a deep well, and going inside and having others along the way. I think one of the things that I've been frustrated with is the whole notion of not being able to have someone to draw those things out or to listen because we are in such an advice-giving culture. And that's one of the things I appreciate about spiritual direction or spiritual companions is you could just sort of lay out your story and someone can listen to it. And you can listen to yourself, I really appreciate that. I think one of the things that comes up for me is this whole idea of paying attention to what's inside as you are making some of your decisions in life. And I was making a decision the other day, or I was with a group of people making a decision, and we're talking about moving forward. And with a particular meeting, are we going to meet here or are we going to meet there? The two different locations, and whenever I looked at meeting at the one location, I thought, there's nothing in me that wants to do that. And then whenever I talked about the possibility of meeting in theI felt lighter. I felt as if, yes, that that feels more freeing. And, you know, I just think sometimes we just have to listen to ourselves. What's coming out for me as I think about what it is that I want to do when moving forward? And I think having others involved in that process allows you to pay attention to yourself. So I've really appreciated that. 

Christina Roberts  04:26

I think it's great Kristina that you're naming that there is a fear. I think that hesitation and just the empowerment that your friend is offering you, I trust your discernment. What a beautiful phrase.   I think that many times we second guess.  Is this okay that I'm saying this is right? And I think having those environments where we're trusting, you know, and again, there are plenty of Bible verses like, “Christ in me the hope of glory”. There's this understanding that the living Christ, the Spirit of God is dwelling within us. What does that mean? And if that's true, if the Spirit of God dwells within us, then of course, the Spirit of God is guiding. And again, I think that what we're talking about here is also, Chris you lifted up, paying attention to a sensation in your body.  This felt light to me. And so I think there's all sorts of cues that we have, whether it's patterns that we see emerging in our lives, or sometimes as we're just talking.  I have this in my own life where something will fly out of my mouth, and it's like, Wow, I had never put those things together.  But being able to sort of narrate uninterrupted for several minutes, this wisdom just kind of spilled out of me. That was just a really helpful phrase that I want to grab for different things like that. So I think I'm hearing sort of this multifaceted thing of permission and allowing that to emerge.

Kristina Kaiser  05:44

Which can turn out to be such a big deal, especially with the body because I think what I realized over time is how often I kind of tamp my body down, right? Like, you just stop it, you just knock it off, right? And try to power through. So more often now I'm trying to say, Okay, why do I feel that feeling in my stomach? Or why did my heart start to raise? Or why did I feel all this heat come up into my face? Like what's going on here? And as I work with others who are paying attention to these things, there might be different things, right? So one person might say, like, Oh, let me start breathing. But sometimes it's like getting honest, okay, this thing is there. I'm feeling this way, because it doesn't feel right. And I needed to get honest that it doesn't feel right. But for years, I used to just try to push through that and ignore that because it wasn't the status quo. Or maybe I thought I would disappoint somebody else, and I just wouldn't get honest about it. So part of it is opening up to your own honesty.

Christina Roberts  06:48

And I think our bodies do not lie to us, right? I think we can lie to ourselves, we can justify things, but when our body is speaking to us, the body is just, it is giving us reactions. And so if you have a pit in your stomach, or your chest feels tight, or when I think about this, I begin to sweat. Those are just natural things that you do. And I think, paying attention to that can be huge clues.  I hear what you're saying, I think we often power through but gosh, the body has such wisdom to offer us as well.

Chris Roberts  07:15

Yes, I agree. You know, even thinking through areas of sometimes wanting power through I feel like we carry a lot of guilt. And for whatever reason, guilt about maybe not doing this or not doing that. If we pay attention to ourselves, we look at that guilt and we understand why it is that we're doing the things that we're doing. And I think a lot of people operate out of their decision making with this notion of I feel like I have to. I asked someone, what would it look like for you to take more breaks throughout the day, to go on the walk?  I mean, you light up when you talk about being in nature and going on a walk. And the response was, Well, I would feel guilty taking the time to do that, because I have all these other responsibilities. It feels frivolous. And so you know that goes into self-care, I feel guilty taking care of myself or refreshing myself, because there's all these other needs out there. That's one of the things that comes up for me as we talk about inner wisdom.

Kristina Kaiser  08:27

Yes, that is such a big deal. That sense of feeling guilt, huge. And it's funny, I'm working my way slowly through the book, The Way of integrity by Martha Beck.  There are these core things that we tend to believe about ourselves:  People won't love me or respect me or I won't be lovable. There are other things behind that guilt. And so even going back to that body aspect in a different way. Sometimes I start to notice, if I'm tired by noon already, like that whole notion of what's giving me life and what's draining life from me. Sometimes people talk about consolation and desolation.  If I'm tired by noon on a regular basis, I need to look into that. Why am I so tired after only the morning? And what am I doing that's absolutely taking life from me? What changes can I make? If it's as simple as taking a 15-minute walk? It might be something else, of course, but sometimes just allowing our body to tell us something.

Christina Roberts  09:35

And I think it's important that we're naming there's the inner wisdom and yet it comes out through relationship, through community. And so I don't think we're saying it's this siloed wisdom that we like to go off and get on our own and then run our lives. There's a communal aspect of this. So even asking the questions or when we pay attention to the inner wisdom and then all of a sudden, I'm faced with guilt or I'm faced with limitations. I then take that to people that can help me. And so I'm thinking of someone that I’m meeting with and we've been on this beautiful journey together. And we've been talking about this concept of a personal board of directors.  Sort of like a nonprofit, where you have a board of directors. And so I said, What would it look like for you to have a personal board of directors? And she's really taken this to heart. And so she's now seeing a chiropractor, and we meet for spiritual guidance, and she's seeking out some therapy. And I think she's doing some stuff around nutrition and got some insight on that. And so surrounding herself with as her body has been speaking to her and some of the inner wisdom emerging of, I'm burnt out, I'm tired, I need rest, I don't know what to do, I feel guilty. These are the avenues in which I can take my inner wisdom to others that can then speak into that and help to draw that out even further and help. Because we can only see a certain angle and we need others to see objectively into our lives as well. So I appreciate that we are naming this holistic communal picture as well. 

Kristina Kaiser  10:57

To keep expanding on that, even the confirmation that comes from being in community. So I can say, Oh, I have this quickening, like maybe I'll, I'll end with this poem, or this prayer or something like this. And if you don't quite know why you were going through your materials, and this one stood out, it's like a quickening. But you don't really know why. And then somebody says, Oh, my gosh, that's so meaningful. To me, it has all this history in my life, I can't believe that that's what you picked. And so we confirm for one another that the feeling that we had wasn't nothing, and that helps us want to pay attention to that and want to give voice to that inner wisdom.

Chris Roberts  11:42

Yeah. And I'm drawn to the aspect that both of you guys have lifted up about needing others and providing space.  How do you make space in your life? Where you can share what's going on in your life with other people?  And there's all kinds of settings for that. But I think some people don't even have the setting for that. And identifying, Where can I go to share or to get feedback or to be in relationship with others that are doing this thing of listening to ourselves? So I think even the construct for that, where you can find that in a community is a big deal for people. And helping people think through well, maybe here's a place or here's a place. And I think a lot of times it can be scary because then you have to try something new. You have to act upon this thing that keeps arising inside of you. And there's a lot out there, there's a lot of resources for those, you want to pursue this as a path. And, you know, I think having the courage to listen to yourself is probably the biggest step in the journey.

Christina Roberts  12:57

And I think, too, all three of us are either in training or are spiritual companions right now. And so I think that's a beautiful avenue. And I think Kristina, to your point of the confirmation that happens and the quickening. And oftentimes when you're sitting with someone, it's like, I've noticed that you've used this word, five, about five or six times, there seems to be a lot of energy around this word or phrase that you keep repeating. And the person's like, Oh, I didn't even realize that I was saying it. They're just saying their story or sharing what's going on. And they're not recognizing that.  Or as I'm hearing these different things, there seems to be this thread that you're naming. And so, again, we're not dictating to them what to do, but we're lifting up some of their inner wisdom and putting a highlighter on that or bold or “tell me more about that” type of thing.  I think it is just such a beautiful part of spiritual companionship that we've experienced and hopefully can offer to others as well.

Kristina Kaiser  13:52

Yeah, Chris, you named it earlier to where we talked about a face lighting up, or a face just totally deflating. So we can't see our faces per se when we talk. So we don't notice all that stuff. But someone who is really intentionally just being with you, is able to say, You just lit up like a rainbow when you started talking about that.  That gives us permission to start moving in that direction. But it really does take that intentional space because the rest of our lives people aren't filling that role, per se.  They're doing something else.

Chris Roberts  14:33

Yeah, it does take intentionality and the kind of a big song right now that everyone is singing is We Don't Talk About Bruno. For me, that's a metaphor of what we squashed down. We don’t talk about Bruno and I think you have to begin to explore, to look within to discover some of these things. And we're all lifting up the importance of how the community can be super helpful in doing that. 

Christina Roberts  15:06

What a beautiful conversation. Thank you for exploring together this idea of inner wisdom.

Well, this is the part of our podcasts where we talk about what we are into this week. So what are we into?

Kristina Kaiser  15:22

I am preparing in a few days for a half day of Silent Retreat, so not even a full day, but with four kids, I will take a half day. And as part of it, there's two hours where we'll have time to explore whatever our spiritual path strengths are. And one of my top ones is art. And so I'm getting so excited.  I'm gonna pull my art stuff together and see what comes out. I cannot wait. So that is what I am into getting ready for my retreat and embracing color for all it's worth.

Chris Roberts  15:57

Nice. Well, I think one of the things that I'm into is spring here. And I'm trying to develop more awareness in my life where I'm just sort of more present to the situation, or more present to location. And so one of the things that I really have been paying attention to is, as I walk past trees, like is it a bud? Is that fresh life coming out? Or, you know, what, what is emerging? As I'm walking through the world, how can I be more present to it? And this may be a spiritual practice, but I'm super into it. Because I think I am noticing that we can be a lot more aware of our situation, or our locale if we just open up our awareness.  So spring is a great time to sort of practice this awareness piece opening up. 

Christina Roberts  16:54

Nice. Well, I am into spring retreat planning. So this just happens to be the time of year where everybody's wanting retreats, which is fun. And so I'm facilitating one this weekend. And it is actually about our bodies, body, mind, spirit.  We have a massage therapist coming. And so like you, Kristina, we're going to be exploring the different senses. And so I'm getting together all the materials and the good smelling candles and the touchy feely and the art supplies and all of that kind of stuff. And it's just fun thinking about the different ways in which we connect to God and offering retreat spaces for the senses. There's a women's retreat, there's a rest and renewal retreat.  All the different retreats that have different flavors, and it's just so fun to think about. So that is what I am into this week.

 Well, thank you so much for joining and listening in. And we often invite people to check out our newsletter, which I certainly want to do, but also as we're lifting up this idea of spiritual companionship. Maybe you're curious about that and would want to know what this is all about.  I'm curious about this. And if that is you, we would love for you to reach out to info@thecontemplativelife.net. We can offer a sample session or just chat with you further about that.

 So until next time, make it a great week. Thanks for listening. Take care.