E 235 Theology of Pause

Today we explore ancient wisdom around pause and the significance it has in our modern lives.  As we share historical context and practical ideas, we hope you are inspired to engage new ways of pause in your own life.

Mentioned in this episode:

Ep 178  Contemplative Figures: Desert Fathers and Mothers

Ep 133  St. Benedict: Mystics/Contemplatives Exploration

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Transcript

Christina: [00:00:00] Hello. It's great to be with you. Today we're talking about the theology of Pause or the in-between times. And we all have this in our day. It's those small pockets of time between events or tasks, these little transitions. So for example, in between waking up and getting out of bed, or in between putting food in the microwave and waiting for the beep to go off in between meetings at work, seeing patients in our office going from one class to the next.

These transitions in our days, sometimes they're longer, others are shorter, but we have them sprinkled throughout the entire day. And paying attention to transitions is something that surprisingly was a big deal in the sixth century by a man named Benedict Neria. He lived during the collapse of the Roman Empire, which is described as a world of quote, political chaos, violence, and moral instability.

People were exhausted by noise, speed, and disorder. Now, I don't know about you, but my thoughts about sixth century life wouldn't necessarily [00:01:00] include those words. I certainly would use that for 21st century people being exhausted by noise speed disorder. And so I find it fascinating that our ancestors faced similar situations centuries ago.

Now, prior to Benedict were the desert fathers and mothers who actually withdrew from the world to tend to a life of prayer in the desert. We did an episode on them back in episode 1 78, if you wanna check it out. And so Benedict studied and learned from the desert, mothers and fathers. However, his response wasn't to withdraw completely from society and culture, but rather to create a rhythm of life that was ordered around prayer, stability, awareness to God, and these different rhythms.

He wrote what's called The Rule of St. Benedict, which is one of the most influential writings this day for monastic living. And Chris and I have both studied that as part of our local monastery here. And so I think what he has to say is very relevant to not only sixth century, but 21st century life.

Chris: It's fascinating to think about our modern lives and how they're not [00:02:00] that different from sixth century life. They didn't have emails or traffic, but they had similar mentalities they faced that were based off of the Roman virtues of action being busy achieving. Managing estates, politics and war even early Christians could fall into the same restless energy doing for God rather than being with God.

And I think to your point before Benedict the desert, mothers and fathers noticed this. In a hurry. And there's a guy by the name of John Cassian and he wrote about this idea, and he called it a sadia. And it's a complex state of spiritual and mental listlessness. It led to a weary or anxious heart that didn't go away when you left the city.

It lived inside of you. And it's funny, they called it the [00:03:00] noonday demon. Restlessness, boredom, flitting from one thing to the next without any type of stillness, and they face both inner and outer rushing, which is so fascinating to me as it really mirrors our modern day lives in the 21st century.

Christina: Yeah, I appreciate you sharing some of that. And Benedict did build off the idea of a Sadia, and when he wrote about balance, it was very much in the spirit of we work, but we also pray. We study, but we also rest. So I think naming that there's the active part of our nature and our lives, and then the more reflective part.

And I think this is where the idea of the theology of pause comes in. Because to your point, life isn't only about doing, but it's also about being, whether that be being present to God, being present to ourselves, to others, to our environment, nature, et cetera. And one of his key principles is the idea of Stasio or Sacred Pause, and [00:04:00] it's being intentional about those small pockets of time in our day.

Those small moments in between the transition where we can either be present and aware or we can fritter it away with distraction. And in Benedictine spirituality, every moment of the day is sacred, but you can only notice the sacredness if you're awake to it. And so Stasio became the training ground for awareness or being awake.

And this has just been a huge part of my spirituality in recent years, and I've noticed my quality of life improving greatly when I pay attention to those transitions. And it's interesting, Chris, as you talk about the Noonday demon and how it stayed with them when they left. The city, right? So it wasn't just circumstance or surroundings, it was an inner state of restlessness, boredom, et cetera, right?

And we can face the hurriedness of life jumping from one thing to the next. But Cassian writes about the inner restlessness, right? And so maybe it was feeling guilty for not doing enough, or competing for who's the most devoted or holy or whatever [00:05:00] it is in our standards today that we compete with. So again, Stasio.

While it could include a physical pause in a physical sense of the world, I think it's also a mental. Pause as well that we experience. 

Chris: Yeah, absolutely. I think Stasio has been a huge. Part of my life as well. And it's interesting to me that, as humans we have the tendency towards distraction.

And we really have to cultivate attentiveness and presence. And back in the sixth century they had bells, when they heard the, when they heard these bells, they were taught to stop what they're doing. When the bells are ringing, don't squeeze in. Just one more task. Don't carry your hammer into chapel.

And this is where the practice that became known as Stasio emerged. The small conscious pause before entering into that next thing. And I think in our modern world, we might say, don't bring your phone to the dinner table. Don't try to send [00:06:00] one more email before you go to bed. And I think we need those small transitions.

To prepare us to be present for a meal or a conversation or even going to sleep, otherwise the quality of the next activity carries with it the previous energy of work or hurriedness. And I think, one example in my life, um. I'm a part-time school bus driver and I've noticed, the difference between elementary, I drive an elementary route and I drive a high school route and elementary's great.

These kids come on the bus and they're chatting with one another. They're sharing about their day. They're even prone to more arguments because, they're engaged with one another. But that's not the case at all with the high school students. The high school students from the moment I pick them up in the morning, they have either one, [00:07:00] in-ear, headphone in, or they have both of them in, and I see 'em walking outta school and they have their headphones.

And so they're just plugged in all the time. And, I try to engage and be present to the kids. And I was having a hard time. , If you ask 'em a question, they pretend that they can't hear you. They just ignore you. And so one of the things that I started doing is I started bringing my guitar on the bus.

I play guitar and I've, I really trying to develop just. My my ability to play instrumental guitar music. I've played music and I've been in bands where I sing and play at the same time, but where the guitar is just the voice by itself. And I've been really trying to cultivate that. And, I have a lot of waiting time between dropping off my students and arriving at the school, waiting for them to get on and waiting for all the students to get on the bus.

One of the things that I've been doing is bringing my guitar, and I think [00:08:00] at first it's really shocking to the kids. Like, What? That doesn't belong. Like the guitar player's sitting in a seat, he's got a guitar propped up and he's just playing music and they'll comment, oh, nice guitar, the aesthetics of the guitar is, they find to be beautiful or whatever. But I've noticed that, the high school students, they love to go all the way to the back. They sit as far back as they can and not all the students. But I noticed since I started bringing my guitar, that the students started coming to the front of the bus.

The front is packed and they're like, what are you playing? And. That sounds beautiful. Do you know this song? And just that. Me bringing my guitar on the bus and playing music is a stasio for these kids. And they're more present to me as their bus driver, and they're more present to themselves and they start telling me about stories.

One, one young lady started telling me about her favorite, like whenever. [00:09:00] Their relatives get together, they go to a cabin and they play music on the porch. And that's some of her favorite memories. And so we're recreating some of those memories on the bus. And so it was just this connectedness to what is, rather than always being plugged in, having that headphone in.

So I think that's a wonderful story that I've experienced with Stasio. 

Christina: I love that story. I love it for you, right? Because again, I don't know what you used to do when you'd sit there waiting for the kids to come out from the bus and being engaged yourself, but then also how that draws others in. It's a beautiful story.

And I think that the idea of stasio, it isn't driven by efficiency and productivity, right? It's about living into the rhythm of God's time, if you will. Sacred time rather than human hurry, right? the next thing, The next thing. And yet, interestingly enough, productivity and efficiency followed like as the, these monks did have these rhythms.

They were very productive and efficient and they didn't sit [00:10:00] around all day praying and reflecting. They wrote books, they studied, they farmed, they built things. In fact, in the Rule of Benedict, there's entire sections on how to care for your tools, how to prepare meals, how to welcome guests.

And so it really is about daily living in the midst of a culture of hurry and chaos and busy, which I like 'cause it's relatable, right to our modern lives. And I don't know, there's something about the pause that really matters. It's this mystery of stopping and how that leads to some sort of a fresh energy.

And again, at the end of the school day, that's a, it's a really like hard time. And it's interesting you bring your guitar on the bus and the. Gosh, many years ago when I was younger, I worked in an afterschool program for the YMCA and just noticing the snack time when the kids would, and I actually worked with the elementary students and they'd come in and they were tired and hungry and we'd have about 15 minutes at the snack table and you'd hear all their stories and struggles from the day, and then they'd go off and play and do their thing.

And I just thought, man, this is a really special time, this 15 minute window over goldfish with the [00:11:00] kids. And so even in our current life, like that's a really important stasio for me is. That after school window when the kids come home. And so I do a lot of my work from home, but I specifically have from the time that they get home they get home around 3 45 ish and I'll make sure that I don't have meetings from from 3 45 to four 15, I'll take a stasio. And so that way when they're home, I can be present for that 15, 20 minutes to hear their stories from the day. And then they go off and do their things. And then if I have another call or a client that I'm meeting with, it'll be four 15 to five 15 and then we'll transition to dinner.

But there's something about that special afterschool space that's been really important to me too. So I appreciate you sharing that. And again. The types of pauses that we're doing, there's so much creativity and fluidity around that, and that's something that we hope that our podcast today can inspire.

I think it's no surprise that most of us use our phone. That's our go-to for our in-between time. It's just so convenient and it's our modern tool of the day. That's. We don't have bells. We [00:12:00] have phones and dings and notifications and things like that. And I was reading how Americans check our phones on average 205 times a day, which is roughly about every five to 10 minutes.

And I'm sure other countries are similar. I don't have the data, but of course we're all on our phones. I think that something that we share internationally. And so we hope that our podcast can inspire some ideas and, I think it shows up in so many ways in our modern lives.

And so maybe we can just take a few moments to, to talk through what are some different ways that we can experience and maybe begin to engage this idea of stasio, the theology of pause in our lives.

Chris: Yeah, there are so many examples of Stasio in our mo, our modern world. Even if we don't use that language, I think. Sports, you don't just run onto the court and play. You pause, you regroup, you have a halftime, you have quarters, you have a stasio. Even with the timeouts, you regroup in these strategic moments of the game.

And I think there's an art to win and [00:13:00] how to take a time out. I'm thinking of photography focusing at camera. I think stasio is the moment you stop, you focus the lens. And you really see the subject that you want to take a picture of. And I think you could tell the difference between someone who is a good photographer from an average one based on how.

They stasio, how they take in their surroundings. And I'm even thinking of cooking, that taking a spoon to try the soup on the stove. You take in the flavors, you see what spices need to be added in. It's a pause. And so stasio isn't about slowness, for its own sake.

It's about presence peace and choice. So that's what comes to mind also about Stasio. 

Christina: Yeah, I like those examples. And I think, again, maybe going back to some of that inner. Space that we were talking about. I have one person that I meet with [00:14:00] who unfortunately has been experiencing poor sleep for the past several months and was just noticing that they wake up and depending on their quality of sleep the night before, it would really impact their day and their mood.

And they didn't want that. It's I don't want my day to be blah, or I don't wanna have to like finally, like maybe by 10 o'clock I'm in a better mood. But just having to work through some of that situation. And they decided to start the day. So they had a habit in the morning, but when they woke up before they woke up, I'm sorry, after they woke up and before they got outta bed to go do their stuff, they would grab their phone and check the news and kind of scroll and things like that.

And they weren't going to not do that. Because that was too much of a change for them. But they also decided to add a minute of just lying there and expressing gratitude and just taking a moment to take in and just to express all the things that they were grateful for. And at first they're like, I don't know that a minute's really gonna do much.

But they've been doing it for several months now, and each month that we've been meeting since that, they're like I can't believe how. Much. That small practice of taking a moment without my phone and just [00:15:00] being grateful while I'm still laying in bed half asleep has really made an impact on my mood and the way that I'm approaching my day.

And while they still want quality of sleep, even if they don't get it, it doesn't impact their day. And so I think that's a great example of just a very small step that somebody took. To engage in e Stasio. I have another friend who they decided every time that they drive to the chiropractor they do professional weightlifting, and so they go to the chiropractor, I think biweekly it was, and it's about a 15 minute ride.

And they have a friend that they've been wanting to reconnect with in a different part of the country. And so they use that time now to talk to their friend and it's a rhythm that they both know. It happens on whatever day every other week. And I love that because I think oftentimes we think, oh, I wish I could have time to connect with old friends.

And they've both just made the time of that 15 minutes. It's a quick check-in. It doesn't have to be some long conversation. And they've done that for like over a year now, and last month had a chance to meet up in person, which was just a lovely kind of capstone to that practice. I'm even thinking of my [00:16:00] high schooler who is in the middle of college essay writing, which is a lot.

And there's creativity, crafting words, the vulnerability of saying all of your different accomplishments that you've done. There's stress, all of that. And I was getting stuck on some college essay writing and so said, you know what, I'm just gonna like. Stop, go to my room for 15 minutes and crochet and listen to music.

And as they were crocheting listening to music decided rather than going back to my computer, I'm actually gonna get out paper and pen and try to write my essay that way. And to use teenage terminology. Came out and was like I cooked. Just it was flowing. There was something about switching to analog from digital that really opened up something.

And so again and they had a really great essay that had been stuck and was really having writer's block and the essay just really flowed after that. And so sometimes the stasio might be just tweaking your habit a little bit, not changing it all together, but. Like the one person adding in a, a rhythm or ritual to something that you're already doing can really be [00:17:00] beneficial.

So we hope that this discussion around the theology of Pause and reflecting on some of the practices of Stasio can inspire our listeners to some new levels of engagement with this practice. And I did mention earlier, not only did we do a podcast on the Desert Fathers and Mothers, but we also did one on St.

Benedict back in episode 1 33. So we will link all of those in the show notes if you want to do a deeper dive into these ideas and practices. So thanks so much for a really fun conversation.

 And now is the part of the podcast where we take a moment to talk about what we are into. So what are we into? 

Chris: I have. Really been into autumn skies. I, like I said I drive school bus and, I'm. I'm driving in the afternoon around 4 30, 4 45, and it's just a beautiful time of day. I drive in a beautiful sort of valley and the clouds and the sun as it's [00:18:00] lowering in the sky.

Have been creating just these bursts of color. The cloud formations have been lovely. So I have really been into autumn skies and I guess the foliage in the background, the leaves are changing color, and so it your eyes are up and you're looking your eyes aren't down, but your eyes are up and you're.

You're looking and seeing all the beautiful color, and so I've just really appreciated this season of autumn for not only the color, but for the beautiful skies. 

Christina: That's a great visual picture. 'cause oftentimes we're looking down at phones or whatnot to, so to be looking up at the trees and I think you're right, that is our posture for the fall.

So that's a great thing to be into. Maybe building off of that, I have been into outside parties. So again, really appreciate this time of year and the weather's kind of. Ideal and perfect in many ways. And so this last weekend we hosted a pumpkin carbon party outside and it [00:19:00] was just really fun.

It's fun to see people's personalities come through when you do something like this. This is our, we had a family one when Chris's family visited from Texas a few weeks ago, and then this was some of our our kids' friends and family there and just really fun. But just being outside in the fresh.

Crisp air surrounded by the lovely trees and drinking hot beverages and having the whole experience. So I have been really into this is the second we've had actually had a series of really fun outside parties lately, as the weather's just been really optimal. Some badminton parties and washers and things like that.

So just really appreciating those outdoor spaces. Thank you so much for joining us and until next time, make it a great week.